By Kim Brassor

One Voice Evolving

Trouble with 12-Step

Why You Can’t Think and Feel at the Same Time (and What to Do About It)

We all want to feel safe — in our homes, our schools, and even in our workplaces. But sometimes our bodies feel unsafe even when we are not in danger. And when that happens, our brains can act in ways that don’t make sense… unless you understand how they work.

Let’s talk about that.

Your Brain Has Two Main Jobs:

1. To Feel

2. To Think

And here’s the important part:

👉 It has a really hard time doing both at the same time.

The Thinking Part = Your Brain’s “Boss”

This part lives in the front of your head. It’s called the prefrontal cortex. It helps you:

• Make plans

• Think things through

• Solve problems

• Control your reactions

We call this executive function — because it’s like the boss of your brain.

The Feeling Part = Your Brain’s “Fire Alarm”

This part is called the amygdala. It helps you:

• Feel scared

• Feel mad

• Feel excited or alert

It’s like your brain’s alarm system. When it thinks something is dangerous, it goes off. It doesn’t ask questions — it just yells:

“RUN!” or “HIDE!” or “FIGHT!”

But What Happens When That Alarm Goes Off Too Soon?

Here’s the big truth:

When your feeling brain is loud, your thinking brain goes quiet.

You may:

• Forget what to do

• Say something you don’t mean

• Cry, yell, freeze, or run without thinking

That’s not because something is wrong with you. It’s because your brain is trying to protect you.

My Real-Life Example:

I teach safety for gun violence in the workplace.

When something scary happens — like hearing a loud bang or a scream — people often panic. That’s normal.

But here’s what I teach:

Stop. Breathe. Count objects. Engage your brain before you run or react.

Why?

Because staying safe takes both parts of your brain:

• The feeling part (to notice something is wrong)

• And the thinking part (to decide what to do next)

You can’t plan if your brain thinks it’s already in danger.

What Makes Executive Function “Misfire”?

Sometimes, your thinking brain shuts down even when nothing is truly dangerous. That can happen if you:

• Feel really stressed or overwhelmed

• Have too many things happening at once

• Didn’t sleep well or haven’t eaten

• Have a brain that works differently (like with ADHD or autism)

• Have gone through scary things in the past

This isn’t weakness.

It’s a signal that your body needs care.

What Can Help?

When your brain feels like it’s spiraling, try this:

1. STOP

2. BREATHE

   (In through your nose. Out through your mouth.)

3. COUNT OBJECTS

   (5 things you can see. 4 you can touch. 3 you can hear…)

These steps send a message to your brain:

“Hey, you’re safe. You can think again.”

Final Thought From Me to You

You are not broken when you freeze or get overwhelmed.

You are a human with a smart brain doing its best to protect you.

At One Voice Evolving, we believe that your voice matters, and your brain’s signals matter too.

When we listen to them — without shame — we grow stronger together.

Want to Learn More?

I offer trauma-informed workplace safety training to help people stay calm, alert, and alive in moments of danger.

Whether you’re a teacher, a business leader, or just someone trying to stay grounded in tough times — I can help your team understand their brains, bodies, and responses to fear.

Let’s build safer workplaces.

Let’s build wiser communities.

🖤 Your voice is still evolving. And your safety matters.

With care,

Kim Brassor

Founder, One Voice Evolving

What’s Next

When we understand how the brain reacts to stress — how it flips between protection and possibility — we start to see that safety isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, relational, and cultural.

Because when people don’t feel safe, they can’t think, create, or connect. But when we build spaces that restore that sense of safety, something powerful happens: the thinking brain comes back online, and collaboration becomes possible again.

That’s true in our workplaces — and it’s true in our communities.

Which brings me to a conversation that beautifully illustrates what it looks like when creativity and safety meet in motion.

Kim sits down with Manny Faces — award-winning journalist, speaker, and cultural strategist — to explore why hip-hop is far more than a music genre. Listen HERE:

About Kim

These two spaces—One Voice Evolving and Trouble With 12-Step—are really one project with two doors. Same voice, same mission: to call out the systems that keep us small, silent, and stuck.

On One Voice Evolving, I take on family relationships, legacy, and the tangled lies of systemic racism that live in our bodies and our families. On Trouble With 12-Step, I shine the light on process addiction, recovery culture, and the ways dependency gets repackaged as discipline.

Different topics, same truth: the system is the problem.

We’re not here for resets—we’re here for full renovations. Rip out the lies, bulldoze the shame, rebuild on truth. And we’re doing it together, with no heroes required.